Saturday, August 9, 2008
okay. let`s create many as we can. :D
I am blogging again. haha. um. I wrote something unexpected during our music class before. maybe last week I guess? hmm. I am not EMO to start of. ;) I wanto to make a novel before I die. ;) maybe? haha. try to understand that I am so random. 8D "I write the songs that make the whole world sing; I write the songs of love and special things. I simply write."
"WTF. Shit. I am getting so damned. there`s nothing going inside my head. I am aiming aimlessly. I am wanting something that I can`t even acquire. I don`t understand who, what, where in the world I am now. I don`t mean to see the things others see. I`m different I want to be different. but something`s making me indifferent. whut? I can`t even understand myself now. *sigh*
Music class now. Noise. Clapping. My ears. I want to be deaf even for a moment. Not to hear anything. The things the world is saying, telling me. . .
I failed in Math. I think I got zero. damn it. Damn. Damn. Damn. How can I be an Engineer as my Lola would say 'You can`t be an Engineer if your dumb in math' right. dreams fades away slowly. and again I was a failure. I am a failure. a failure. a failure. I failed as always. as I have just said, I am a BIG failure.
Why can`t I see what they could see? Why couldn`t I feel what they feel? Why couldn`t I hear what they hear? I am so numb. I try no be numb.
I cry. I laugh. I pout. I love. I give. I seek. I crave. I am too proud of myself. I am proud because I know I am great. But I am not. so simple. I am not your very perfect type of person. `cause no one is perfect. no HUMAN I should say. so simple, yet I am making everything so complicated. yes. my very complicated life. I am crazy. I am dumb. I certify that. I am a Dorky.
I have nothing on my mind.I want to. I have to. I can`t. I want to change but it seems like nothing`s changing. I want to isolate myself. isolation I think would be the key to my new world.
Leave. Harm me Kill me. IDoNotCare. I am nearly killed by death itself. I want to I have to but I can`t.
'Rise up,Andrea. It`s not the end of the world. You still have to wait for it.' It`s what my thoughts say."
*Beyond the spectrum of aspirations and dreams
I am there.
Hidden.
I flew away by 7:10:00 PM
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